it's late and i'm at work. it's one of those weeks that questions my priorities ... blurring the lines of blessing and burden. i've not written much since our trip. the words have not come to describe all that is still swirling. the re-entry to china has not been easy. the nagging inside that begs for more won't listen to logical rationale.
the past few months have been a pendulum of heights and depths...the heights now sweeter in the further exploration of the alternative.
uncertainty seems the only consistency. i'm drawn to blank pages, ink, and the afterglow of raw exploration ... of making sense from words, or not.
and then tonight, a letter from linford. linford and karin make up my all time favorite band, over the rhine. their music has laid the soundtrack for many seasons of my life. their albums are the ones that change with me, but never seem to get old. lyrics resonate deeply, and the words now are no exception ...
uncertainty. how will i embrace it? how will i use my precious time? and in the intersection of passion and purpose, might there be room for my pen?
Music and art and writing: extravagant, essential, the act of spilling something, a cup running over…
The simultaneous cry of, You must change your life, and Welcome home.
I’ve been trying to write songs again, and I’ve been hitting a maze of dead ends. I want the songs to reveal something to me, teach me something. It’s slow going. I’m not sure where I’m going. Uncertainty abounds.
But the writing works on me little by little and begins to change me. That’s why I would recommend not putting off writing if it’s something you feel called to: if you put it off, then the writing can’t do the work that it needs to do to you.
Yes, I think there’s something there. If you don’t do the work, the work can’t change you. (No one expects to change overnight.)
My sister Grace recently sent me this quote from a slim little volume called Art and Fear:
Uncertainty is the essential, inevitable and all-pervasive companion to your desire to make art. And tolerance for uncertainty is the prerequisite to succeeding.
A blessing for the writers among us: May all your dead ends be beautiful.
