the screaming still

at 2:28pm on monday, all of china stopped.

i had heard that at 2:28pm, there would be 3 minutes of silence to remember the many lost and affected by the earthquake exactly a week before. the 3 minutes would be the beginning of a 3 day mourning period where media (other than earthquake coverage) would be shut down. i had heard that cars would honk their horns.

what i did not anticipate, was how very powerful those few moments would be.

at 2:28pm, traffic stood still. people on the sidewalks and streets stood silently in their places. the clusters of bikes were motionless. the tvs all broadcast the same message. the typical over stimulation of noise and movement was suddenly suspended.

there was a brief and surreal moment of perfect silence, and then the screaming began. horns from cars, bikes, ships, etc. began to sound in a continuous wail. i was told they were 'wailing in grief.'

what no one told me, was that the shrill sound of the horns would make it easy to imagine cries born of anguish ... my mind raced to those initial moments of panic ... the searching for loved ones ... the many prayers sent up with urgent desperation. i was not prepared for the ache that would be reawakened from some place just below the surface. i had not heard about what it would be like to spend 3 minutes in the screaming still.

i felt so blessed to be in this exact time and place ... an outsider

and yet, standing among millions

with all of china ...

to honor, to grieve

and to carry with them, a tiny piece of a burden much too large to bear.

pick and roll

i've mentioned that the taxi experience is one of the most frightening for locals and visitors alike.

today i walked to work ... and i must say, it brought it's own set of heart failure moments, along with some sweet-as-milk-tea liberation.

chad and i have discussed the brilliance and craziness of a sneak attack maneuver we witness many times in intersections. when a car makes a left hand turn across traffic lanes, more often than not, other cars will pull into the inside lane along side the first car - using them as a screen for oncoming traffic. like i said, genius with a tablespoon of CRAZY.

i realized this morning that the same method is quite useful on foot. the 'walk' signs mean nothing around here, and pedestrians don't really have the right of way, so outsiders are forced to rely on the experience of locals to navigate the crowded streets. many times, crossing the street involves making bits and bits of progress as cars, bikes, and mopeds move around you. add puddles, and you see why i called it real life frogger.

so this morning, i found myself using a 70 year old woman as a shield. i figured she had done this a few times... and while i like to think i would sacrifice my body to save her if a car came careening at us ... i also think cars are more likely to let her pass than they would me.

i'm pretty sure there is some game with regard to american roadkill. i'm certain i hear the point values being shouted as i run across the road. i never look back, but i know they are slapping the roof and punching each other. rightfully so ... moving an american's clothes with the air from your speeding car is worth at least 50 points.

so i'm wearing running shoes today ... sacrificing fashion for function ... and feeling a little closer to locrazy with each passing day.

english class

the group has deemed lunch time "english class" and we have quite the following. it is so rewarding for me to see the more shy among us begin to gain confidence, each engaging in their own way. in the first days i was here, they looked physically ill when i approached them about something. faces went pale, and panic seeped through their pores like the summer heat had spontaneously showed up. now, they are quietly testing themselves ... most often, pulling me aside to ask questions without an audience. i think my attempts at mandarin have a way of making others feel pretty good about themselves. that, and running around w/ no pants.

i asked hedy to teach me about some communities that nike has within a chinese web portal. little did i know, she would prepare 3 pages of english notes for our meeting. she was so nervous ... i keep telling her that she knows more than she thinks, and that i like practicing with her. today she came to me and told me that she feels she will learn more in a month of practicing with me, than she will in a year of the english classes she takes at night. she said, "it is just that i am sad when i have a feeling in my heart first, and i cannot say it to you." visions of my time in costa rica flood back, and i'm sure my heart has felt the same way.

the topic today was american slang. i told them that one easy way to sound more fluent is to use 'yeah' every now and then instead of 'yes.' they asked about the difference between cool and awesome. and if cool was another word for fashionable, why do people say it in business meetings? also, why do people say one word and mean something else (sarcasm)?

i've noticed that when they are listening on the phone, they make a noise like 'mmph.' it is quick and abrupt. a symphony of 'mmphs' around the office has a pattern that reminds me of "bohemian rhapsody" by queen. i fight daily urges to stand up on my desk and cue in the next section.

i told them they can replace 'mmph' w/ 'uh-huh,' when listening in english.

we talked about the presidential election, the war, bush (officially breaking cultural training rule #1) ... i was a little uncomfortable being their only voice on the subject. then i got over it. now when asked about american politics, they say "dude, vote obama .. he is AWESOME. clinton is so 1998."

by the end of lunch, it didn't matter what i said, the response was ... "uh-huh, COOL!" followed by uncontrollable laughter.

tomorrow, they say, i'm going to learn more mandarin. right, and YOU'RE going to learn how to blow your breakfast up in the office microwave. pants are optional.

earthquake

as many of you have now heard, there was an earthquake in china today. it moved some buildings in shanghai, but things here are relatively normal.

those of you that worry for us should know that today, again, we were well taken care of.

i left the office this afternoon to go to nike for a meeting. it was my first trip to nike alone, so i asked juju and leonie (who i call the mother hen) if they could write the directions for me in mandarin to give to the taxi driver. they were not satisfied until they had written the directions, called a cab, walked me to the cab, and explained to the driver where, exactly, he should take me.

i had a long lunch meeting with one of my clients on the first floor of a building across from nike. because we were on the first floor, we were oblivious to any swaying or shaking that was happening. when we went back to the building, there were many people outside. we assumed they were on their way to a business outing.

we said our goodbyes, and she rushed off to another meeting. i went looking for a cab. a couple of minutes later, she came running back saying there was an earthquake and we should stick together. she didn't have a phone. i did, but i didn't have any local numbers programmed in. we tried to email nike colleagues to no avail. outside the building, things were getting more and more chaotic.

finally, our nike friends came out, and said that leonie had everyone on high alert looking for me. she had called to make sure i was ok. apparently, the sway in our offices was much more prevalent.

i made my way to a restaurant where my co-workers were waiting. they said they were so worried about me, and needed to see me in front of them. :) they then spent the next 1/2 hour programming all of their numbers into my phone.

despite not ever being in any real danger. it meant a lot to me to know that i had so many looking out for me. i felt really protected, and again, so grateful to have these friends.

feeling the effects of the quake in our city brings the tragedy much closer. reading in grandma dale's book about time spent in chongqing, connects us to the people there. it seems good that we see and know the hardship of others in our world. so often it seems distant; it hardly seems real. and yet, perspective brings with it a burden so heavy to bear. we ache as we think of the lives lost. the beautiful faces of china.

a nice day for a ... chinese wedding

this weekend we had the privilege of attending the wedding of one of my co-workers. it was such an honor to be invited. i'm not sure what is 'typical' for chinese weddings, and what was unique for ella and james specifically, but i'll try to give you a quick snapshot (WARNING: quick = long and detailed):

ella and james had actually already been 'married'... so this was the banquet celebration.

upon arrival at the hotel, each of the guests signed a book, and got their picture taken with the bride and groom (prom style). the groom was looking pretty nervous at this point.

ella was wearing a traditional white wedding dress. i've noticed that fashion here tends towards bows, sequins, hello kitty, etc. you know, the 'details'' that make things, well, special. she looked beautiful.

i was a bit nervous about my bare legs (as stockings were in full effect - NUDE stockings, dark stockings, nylons, closed toed shoes, open toed shoes ... you fashionitas get the picture), but ida reassured me that i was fine. probably b/c social transgressions are expected when americans are involved, and therefore easily forgiven. regardless, i was glad i brought a sweater to cover my bare shoulders. meOW.

we sat down in a room with windows all around. the view was breathtaking, looking over the shanghai skyline and the bund (famous waterfront).

chad and i were seated w/ many of my co-workers, including one from london and his wife. that provided for shared commentary, as we all soaked in the experience for the first time. particularly fabulous were the moments when american music laid the backdrop for this sacred event. 'endless love' ... 'i will always love you' (celine) ... 'i do cherish you' ... we stared hard at each other and didn't need words to exchange thoughts. instead, we poured our energy into determining which boy band was responsible for the kind of timeless beauty that transcends international borders.

i couldn't resist throwing my arms around chad's neck and making him dance with me like 7th grade. after that, he asked me to go steady.

there was an 'mc' of sorts that interviewed various family members as well as the groom. then, the music began, and ella came down the aisle singing to her groom. the girls told me that this part was unique for ella, but each bride finds a way to make her ceremony unique. one of the other girls told us she danced at her wedding, etc. when ella and james came together, the 'mc' said a few more things, and the recessional music started ... the same traditional wedding march (mendelssohn) that is played in the states when the couple is announced. i was caught off-guard by the lump in my throat ... my eyes got teary ... and i realized, i didn't have to understand the words to comprehend the moment.

about the food ...

food is put in the middle of a round table, and served on a 'lazy susan' that turns around as each person uses his/her chopsticks to serve themselves. some of you (reeder), who would sooner starve than share a spoon .. may find this style difficult for a long term nourishment plan.

course after course ... it starts with vegetables, then appetizers, then meat, then fish, then chicken, then rice, then dessert. whew. everything was delicious, but we are definitely still getting used to the preparation and presentation style. for example, when i say fish, i mean FISH. last week, the fish was brought to us at the table in a bucket to approve before it was steamed. the process was reminiscent of the tasting before a wine bottle is served to the table. i wondered what i should be looking for. 'um, it's all the way mostly dead? permission to finish him off.' 'no. that's nemo's brother, we can't eat him.'

remember, there are no knives ... so peeling skin, bones, etc. can be tricky w/ chopsticks. at one point, chicken was brought out in a bowl (again, the whole chicken). it was somewhat humorous to all of us, as we tried to pull it apart w/ chopsticks and a dull spoon. graceful? not so much. plenty of photos to come on our various courses. chad laughed at what he described as my 'man-handling' ... i blushed w/ pride as i realized i had taken the first step toward fitting in. GET MINE. or maybe that's just for traffic and supermarkets. oops.

throughout the night, ella changed dresses 3 times (while we were there). i heard rumor of 4. the second was a gold gown ... again, she was gorgeous. the 3rd, a traditional chinese dress. i think this was my favorite. she looked so elegant.

gifts are given in the form of cash. there is a set amount, and it is put into an envelope with a message on the outside. the money is used to pay for the wedding, and the remainder goes to the new couple. makes a lot of sense.

however, what we didn't know, is that a few names would be drawn out of the pile of envelopes. those lucky guests got to be part of a game ... charades of some sort. someone had to be a panda ... someone had to guess what animal he was trying to be. i'm forever grateful that someone was NOT me.

throughout the night, ella and james visited each table for a toast. mostly beer and soft drinks (there is A LOT of coke consumed in this city - haven't seen pepsi) ... i liked this tradition too, as we all got to visit with them, but toasts provided a quick way to make it around a large room.

i asked about a honeymoon, and how long they would be gone. ella thought i was asking how long we had to stay.

stay? oh my ... i feel so lucky to be here, and there is no way i'm going to miss whatever comes next. i fully expect a chinese version of adam sandler to get the dancing started soon.

10 on 10: may

10 photos .. 10 consecutive hours .. on the 10th day of each month (only this time, i miscalculated and did it on YOUR 10th and my 11th.) so here are 11 photos of a shanghai sunday:

real life frogger

may is the rainy month, and we got our first introduction today. i had heard that cabs are hard to come by, and had to chase mine down this morning when he didn't want to wait for me. i'm not sure exactly what he said, but my interpretation of his tone and body language went something like this, "#$A@! i don't know where this address is... (insert another expletive) WHAT!? you don't speak mandarin? such a cute girl with no brains??? what good are you?! (something vicious and foul), i should have left you to jump puddles, and picked up one of the other hundred people flagging a cab...mother told me about AMERICANS. i hate the olympics, etc. etc.

"i just smiled and said, "check, please? SERVER! thank you."

after pulling the map out of the magic bag, and reading him some streets, i think he was very pleased that i graced his presence and introduced him to a brand new office building. i expect he'll be looking for me tomorrow.