today some very official people visited our office. there was some discussion, and royce said, "rebecca, your chinese teacher is here. go in for an assessment." i looked at my british friend, oliver (who studies mandarin as a full time student), and said, "assessment of what? mental sanity? ability to communicate w/ charades? ability to eat oily chinese food w/ chopsticks and no napkin? cake walk."
i went into the room, and the instructor said, "ni hao, insert many other words i don't know that likely total to be a formal introduction." i said, "ni hao. i don't know any chinese, so i don't know what you said after that."
"NO chinese?"
"maybe 5 words that mostly relate to food. can you tell me how to say HAUS in chinese?"
shocked and amazed, it took them a moment to recover. the 'ass-essment' was clear, and we made a plan to start my lessons.
i came out and told oliver i failed.
'i didn't see that coming." was his response. "what did you say to them? 'can i have my bill?'"
"pretty much."
4 comments:
dear sweet rebecca - you are so funny and you have a wonderful ability of describing a situation that makes it easy to "be right there with you!" --wonder why your chinese vocabulary was being reviewed?! by the way, what does the word 'haus' mean?
i am laughing out loud...which is exactly what i needed tonight. so thank you for using such poignant wit and humor to describe what for many of us perfectionists could have thrown us back into the arms of our therapists in a heartbeat. can't wait to see you.
the chinese review was to determine the level that i would start chinese lessons (i.e. beginner, intermediate, advanced). as if this was in question?!
definition of a haus: (fellow hauses .. feel free to add your thoughts)
haus:
noun. an affectionate term for a person that studies and practices the art of extreme eating.
(example) 'katie, i can't believe you ate 2 ice cream bars and licked the wrapper. you are such a haus.'
adjective. used to describe anything/anyone acting in support of the extreme eating lifestyle.
variations: hausy, hausish, hauslike, hausome
(example) joey chestnut's dethroning of takeru kobayashi at the 2007 coney island hot dog eating competition was HAUSOME!
verb. any action involving absurd eating behavior (or thoughts of absurd eating behavior).
(example) becky haused down an entire family size mac and cheese in one sitting.
synonym: gourmand, gastronomer
gourmond: one who is fond of delicate fare; a judge of good eating.
- the oxford english dictionary
the gourmand unites theory with practice, and may be denominated gastronomer. the gourmet is merely theoretical, cares little about practising and deserves the higher appellation gastrologer.
you've got me laughing out loud and re-reading the entry to john. glad you're back on here; i enjoy hearing/seeing glimpses of your life...
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