ah bali, it's been a week with no alarm clock, no straightening iron, and no decisions aside from what bathing suit to put on and where to eat. it has been glorious.
bali has the perfect weather. heat without humidity, a breeze without the chill ... our villa was more outside than in, and the thought of our shanghai return has me mourning the fresh air.
swim, sand, surf, sun, and soccer. the bali life.
i do hope to see you again.
this morning, chad went surfing and i went along. we had an instructor named sunny. the english between us didn't come easy, so basically, sunny was there to tow me out, line me up, and yell "STANDING UP!" just before the ocean cannonballed me to next tuesday.
the ocean is both terrifying and exhilarating. typically, for me, i taste the exhilaration, but have terrifying for the main course. so it wasn't a surprise when sunny said, "one more?" and started yelling, "paddling HARD!" just as i caught sight of the biggest wave i'd seen silently building behind me.
in an instant, i was on top of the world. (exhilaration: check)
and then i did it. the unforgivable sin. i looked down. (entree is served)
i looked down just in time to see the nose of my board getting sucked down into an elephant sized drain, and i'm pretty sure i led the way. it was then, with monstrous authority, that the ocean reminded me who was in charge and thanked me for playing.
some of my girls want to go to surf camp this spring in costa rica.
tal vez mujeres ... tal vez.
it's an unlikely assortment. local bali is here. most young, likely having run to their mopeds at the school day end, and made their way to the beach for their nightly game just before sunset. a few from italy, can say no more than where they come from. chad found them with their make shift goals on the first night we were in bali, and ever since ... his mind is here when he knows they will be.
tonight we walked down the beach soaking in the salt and sand, and along the way, saw the little groups of boys fully in their element. they wear their jerseys, they build goals in the sand, and they come to play ... every night. their broad and carefree smiles declare perfect contentment. their uncontained laughter is evidence of the life giving energy they pass between them with bare feet and a ball. as we walk, the players get bigger, the goals more official ... and as a girl who spends many hours thinking about how best to communicate the essence of sport, i'm keenly aware that i'm witnessing its purest form.
then we come upon chad's crew. they have nearly full teams, goals made of pvc, and an audience. in an instant, he is waved across the sideline and into their world.
just like that.
i'm envious of his skill .. the international currency of instant camaraderie. and i'm proud of him. i've watched a lot of games, and i never get tired. his ability earns respect, but it's the quiet wisdom, generous strength, and new perspective i notice now. tonight, in the precious few moments before the bali sun sets, i know that this is some of the best of life.
i've realized that trying to make a decision to stay or leave shanghai is like deciding whether to break up with someone or marry them.
in the midst of decision, every insignificant characteristic is magnified ... each a check on a never resolving list of pros and cons:
- nearly getting run off the road on my bike by mopeds who want to play chicken: go
- sharing a meal w/ amazing women from all over the world in my cooking class: stay
- getting hit in the face w/ random liquid while walking in the street: go
- meeting the smiling eyes of a worn and knowing local face: stay
- watching a woman ignored after a moped accident: go
- cheap and perfect pedi: stay
- fleas and water: go
- feeling helpless under the wrath of my mandarin teacher: go
- understanding a conversation in mandarin: stay
- opportunity for travel: stay
- longing for health and cleanliness: go
and so it goes ... and i've not even touched the career implications for both of us.
it's tiring, this place of swinging. do i commit to her ... with all her beauty and flaws? or do i go my own way ... knowing my life is more rich having known her?
my chinese teacher, marina, got canned. at least i prefer to think so, but it is entirely possible that after my "assessment" she decided i wasn't teachable. perhaps there was a conversation about the incorrigible "mei guo ren" (american), and they drew straws; and the new girl lost. perhaps they had to come up with an english name for the new girl because they knew the american could not pronounce her chinese name, and so they picked GRACE. fitting? i think so.
except for the fact that grace, is not so gracious. i think she is very sweet on the inside, but her lack of english eloquence tests my confidence and patience each time i go to class.
for example, (which she says all the time before giving an example that isn't an example) ... "it's like the "b" and "p" in the english alphabet ... they sound the same, but they are different letters." right. thanks, that cleared it all up for me, except b and p don't at all sound the same. they LOOK the same, if you are an upside down dyslexic.
she says things like "i told you!" or "we learn this!" (which means we learnED this) ... and reminds me continuously, that she has apparently taught me something already. if i answer a question wrong, she says "NO!!!" after a string of no's last week, my fist inadvertently slammed the table in response to her scolding. today while practicing the pronunciation of sentences, she said "NO! pay attention to the tones!!!" i was thinking of all the things she should pay attention to.
this kind of lost in translation abuse has a tendency to run the "system save" program in my brain, which includes releasing messages such as: "you were a GOOD student. your mom and dad do NOT think you are dumb. you are old, and losing your mind is normal. you LOOK a lot younger than you are. and so on ..."
my favorite part of chinese class is that she ends each session with, "so much for today." she means, "that was a lot to learn for one day" ... but that doesn't change my desire to punch her face each time she says it.
a few weeks ago, i had a particularly good lesson. at the end she said, "time is up."
yes, grace, it is. i think it may be time to find out who drew the second shortest straw.
somewhat surprising sights seen on a suffocating sauna of a saturday in shanghai ...
1. "showers" - an older woman wearing a disposable shower cap to keep her hair looking fine.
2. "sitting" - a husky sized dog on a moped w/ a guy.
3. "slides" - 2 moped accidents where all hesitate to help b/c they could be blamed.
and most shocking of all? a man who was cab-competing with me in the rain, stood back, and let me have it.
"xie xie (shea shea) chivalrous sir."
a friend who has lived in shanghai for 9 years told me last week that every now and then, you have to spend a day in your apartment, watch movies, and do nothing. he said it is necessary for survival to have a day where "everything works." i told him that i wasn't sure i could afford any more tv series addictions, but that he made me feel very justified in my previous weekend activities.
we had different expectations of this weekend, and spent saturday riding everywhere our bikes would take us (more later on my bike, because it is my favorite chinese possession). we had a greasy american breakfast at a greasy american bar. we sat outside in the now gorgeous weather, to have coffee and eat some more. and ... we had a 2 hour massage. b/c really, for $15, why wouldn't you?
maybe because massage has a way of bringing out all the bad things lingering in your system ... and despite drinking a case of sparkling water, those "things" caught up to us. on sunday, we had plans to go to the rock climbing gym, but we took a nap instead. instead of exploring the city, we explored recipes on the internet. and at the end of the day, it was pizza we wanted. so we made one. i don't know if it was the withdrawal after 4 months without it, or the satisfaction of achieving gourmet goodness with half of the ingredients and tools required ... but it was the BEST pizza we have ever had. and yes, entirely gluten free.
c: this is the best pizza ever.
b: i burned the roof of my mouth off, and it was worth it.
c: you are a chinese gluten free gourmet chef.
b: YOU are an italian, gluten free, organic, free range, gourmet chef.
c: let's open wine and pretend we are in tuscany.
b: i love the sabbath in tuscany.
